Most guys tend to think that they will be able to handle parenthood without too much stress or aggravation. It's the wife that has to go through all of the discomfort of pregnancy and childbirth,
right? But once the realities of being awakened every hour and a half by a crying baby, the endless visits from family and friends, the easy slippage into exhausted bickering with your partner, and the very real and very intense anxiety about not doing anything terribly wrong to your newborn all set in, your tune will change. It's going to take all the energy you can muster to maintain sanity in your home the first few days after you child is born. Then, in a moment of clarity, you will remember a detail that had completely slipped your mind: you have a job.
The most successful plans for juggling a newborn and a job involve early and thorough planning. Paternity leave is becoming more common than you think, so explore your options with your employer. Bear in mind, too, that business associates can be very forgiving when it comes to big-ticket life issues like child birth--as long as they see it coming in advance. Talk to your employer and the people that you work with early on about how you will need a bit of a time to welcome your child into your home and for you, your partner, and the baby to get used to the new arrangement. If all else fails, use your vacation time--you will not be using it for anything else anytime soon.
Once you've taken some time off to settle your home and have returned to work, focus on normalizing your work schedule. Stretching the occasional long workday into a late evening may have
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financially positioned you for parenthood, but your wife and your child now need you to be home and involved. Your family is now counting on you for emotional as well as financial support, so get your work done and get home when you've promised to be there. A tired mother and a newborn baby will both appreciate a schedule they can count on.
If there is one thing that characterizes most new fathers, it's the insistence upon taking on more than they can handle. Preparation for fatherhood usually looks a little something like this: I'll work my regular schedule while my partner feeds, plays with, and tires the baby out; I'll look after the sleeping baby at night. Thousands of years of human parenting have yet to be successful at getting newborn babies to respond to tight scheduling with any consistency, so don't count on it. Instead, prepare for unintended time commitments. No one plans for an inconsolable child driving a mother to feel the need to completely give up as you enter the door (or just before you leave). An allergy to detergent or formula (and the ensuing pediatrician's visit) just can't be anticipated. Waking up from two hours of sleep to the realization that you don't feel at all capable of getting from your bed to the office is something that had never crossed your mind before your baby's birth. But unfortunately, these are all possible scenarios that a newborn father has to consider. Do yourself a favor and allocate some space to cushion these eventualities.
Thefunkystork.com is a pregnancy resource and parenting guide for expectant fathers and new dads. It provides only general information designed for educational purposes, and does not offer pregnancy or pediatric advice. You should always consult a physician about concerns you have with your pregnancy or your child's health.
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